Recovery teaches us a lot about grit—about showing up when it’s hard, holding on when everything in you wants to let go, and learning to rebuild a life from the ground up.
But what about the moments when grit isn’t enough?
When you’ve done everything you can, and still, the pain lingers?
When you hit a wall, emotionally or spiritually, and wonder: What now?
That’s where many of us discover the quiet, undeniable power of something greater.
Not as a shortcut or a guarantee—but as presence.
A hand we can’t always see, but one we somehow feel.
Today, I want to talk about why having a Higher Power matters—especially when healing feels too heavy to carry alone.
The Moment That Changed Everything
When I first began my recovery journey, I didn’t understand the idea of a higher power.
I had heard the words in meetings. I had read them on step work.
But personally? I felt disconnected. Unsure. And honestly… skeptical.
Still, I kept showing up.
Kept learning. Kept listening.
Until the day came when I was emotionally at a breaking point.
I had around 90 days clean.
I was in jail. The holidays were approaching, and I didn’t have a court date.
I had been told it would likely be weeks before anything changed.
And that night—I broke.
In the stillness of that jail cell, I prayed.
Not formally. Not perfectly. Just openly, honestly.
I told God I was struggling. That it wasn’t working. That I needed help.
The next morning, I was woken up at 4 a.m.
Out of nowhere, my name had been added to the court docket.
On the way to court, I was warned: “This judge is tough. Don’t expect anything.”
But when I got there, the judge was offering favors.
I was released that day.
There’s no logical reason it should’ve happened like that.
But it did.
And in that moment, I knew: I wasn’t alone.
What It Means to Have a Higher Power (Even When You’re Unsure)
Having a higher power doesn’t mean everything will suddenly feel easy.
It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel lost again.
What it does mean is:
• You don’t have to carry this alone
• You can surrender what’s too heavy to hold
• There’s meaning, even when you don’t see it yet
• You’re still being guided, even when the road is dark
It means there’s space for hope—even when you’re not sure how to hold it yourself.
“Godwinks” and Everyday Miracles
Since that moment, I’ve had countless little nudges.
Signs. Coincidences that felt too aligned to be random.
Moments of grace I couldn’t explain—but felt deeply.
Some people call them “Godwinks.”
Some call it intuition. Others say spirit, source, universe, divine energy.
Whatever language you use, the message is the same:
You are not doing this alone.
What to Do When You’re Struggling to Believe:
1. Speak Honestly.
You don’t have to believe fully to reach out.
Start by saying what’s real. Even, “I don’t know if anyone’s listening, but I need help.”
2. Stay Open to the Unseen.
Look for the quiet things:
The right words at the right time.
The unexpected moment of peace.
The friend who shows up when you didn’t ask.
3. Let Go—Without Giving Up.
Surrender isn’t quitting.
It’s saying: “I’ve done what I can. I trust something greater will meet me where I am.”
Closing Thought:
There will be days when your strength isn’t enough.
Let that be the day you remember—you were never meant to do this alone.
Whether you call it God, grace, love, or something unnamed…
Lean in. Ask. Listen.
Sometimes, all it takes is one honest prayer
to open the door you thought was closed for good.
And sometimes, healing begins the moment you let go—
and trust that something greater has already begun holding you.
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