Today’s Reading: Job 9-11
Today felt simpler.
Not easy. Not resolved. Not like I suddenly woke up with all the answers.
Just simpler.
I woke up this morning trying to keep my mind fresh. I didn’t want to immediately start analyzing everything happening around me or deciding what any of it meant. I wanted to listen. Pay attention. Notice.
So I did another heart check.
There are still two possible directions sitting in front of me – Option A and Option B – and there are things about Option A that don’t sit right in my heart when I compare them with what I have been reading and learning in God’s Word.
But instead of trying to solve that, I just noticed it.
Then I had this overwhelming thought that I needed to reach out to someone I trust at work.
Nothing dramatic. No emergency. I hadn’t talked to anyone else about it. There was simply a situation that had started to feel a little out of control, and something in me kept saying, Say something. Ask for another perspective.
So I did.
And then I went about my day.
Job Doesn’t Know What We Know
Today’s Bible reading was Job 9-11.
And Job is starting to hit his limit.
You can feel his suffering wearing on him. The questions are getting bigger. Doubt is creeping in. He is trying to understand why any of this is happening to him.
And the entire time I was reading, I found myself wanting to tell him:
Job, don’t give up! You don’t know the whole story!
Because I know something Job doesn’t.
I know what happened before his suffering began. I know that God knew Job’s heart. I know there is an entire part of this story happening outside of Job’s view.
Job only knows what he can see from where he is standing.
And suddenly that felt very familiar.
How often am I asking God to show me the pages of my own story that I simply cannot see yet?
I want to know people’s intentions. I want to understand why someone is behaving a certain way. I want to figure out which direction something is going. I want enough information to make everything make sense.
But maybe I don’t need the whole picture.
Their Intentions Aren’t Mine to Carry
As the day went on, I did receive more information about the situation I’ve been praying about.
And strangely, it didn’t give me some giant answer about Option A or Option B.
Instead, the clarity felt much smaller:
Both sides are responding from their own feelings and frustrations right now.
That’s it.
I don’t need to decide what their intentions are.
I don’t need to determine who has the better heart.
I don’t need to figure out what everyone is thinking behind the scenes.
I can recognize behavior that doesn’t feel right without judging the person behind it.
Their intentions aren’t mine to carry either.
That thought came over me so clearly today.
And maybe the only clarity I need for this moment is exactly what I have.
Then Came the Devotional
Later, I moved into my devotional, and once again, I found myself noticing how somehow these things keep connecting.
The message was about what happens when life comes crashing in around us.
Sometimes God removes the trouble.
But sometimes He doesn’t.
Sometimes the answer to our prayer is the peace we need to walk through the trouble instead.
And I felt that sentence.
Because I want to be very clear about something:
I do not feel good right now.
Everything is not resolved.
I’m not sitting here wrapped in some magical feeling of peace because I gave everything to God and suddenly stopped caring about what happens.
I care.
There are still unknowns. There are conversations coming tomorrow. There are behaviors that concern me. There are still two possible directions in front of me, and I don’t know where either one leads.
But somehow, I have enough peace for this moment.
And maybe that’s the difference I’ve been trying to describe throughout all of this.
I’ve said repeatedly since the uncertainty at work began that I am handling it differently than I would have before.
Maybe this is why.
I have been asking God to take control.
I’ve been trying to stop myself when I start carrying tomorrow.
I’ve been asking the Holy Spirit to lead me.
I’ve been reading Scripture every day.
I’ve been doing these little heart checks.
And I’ve been trying – sometimes successfully and sometimes not – to simply notice.
Maybe peace doesn’t always mean feeling good.
Maybe sometimes peace is being surrounded by uncertainty and realizing:
I don’t have to solve this tonight.
Option A can stay with God.
Option B can stay with God.
Their intentions can stay with God.
Tomorrow can stay with God.
There may be parts of this story happening outside of my view, just like there were parts of Job’s story he couldn’t possibly see from where he was standing.
I don’t need those pages yet.
I only need enough for today.
And today?
I noticed.
Thank you, God.
Questions I’m Leaving With
Am I asking for clarity about something I actually need to know today – or am I trying to see pages that haven’t been revealed yet?
Can I recognize when something doesn’t align with God’s Word without needing to judge the heart or intentions of the person behind it?
When I feel pulled in different directions, can I pause long enough to notice what is happening in my own heart before immediately trying to solve it?
Can I trust that God may give me exactly the amount of clarity I need for this moment – even if it isn’t the full answer?
And can I recognize peace for what it is, even when it doesn’t mean that everything feels good?
Today’s Takeaway
Maybe peace isn’t always the feeling that everything is going to work out exactly the way we hope.
Maybe peace is knowing we don’t have to figure everything out right now.
There are things happening outside of our view.
There are intentions we cannot know.
There are conversations that haven’t happened yet.
There are pages we simply haven’t reached.
And maybe faith is trusting that we don’t need to read ahead.
We only need enough for where we are today.
So I can notice what doesn’t sit right.
I can ask for guidance.
I can reach out when I feel led to.
I can recognize what is mine to carry – and what isn’t.
And then I can put the rest back down.
I don’t need those pages yet.
I only need enough for today.
Lord, Take Control.
Until next time… keep noticing.