Today’s Reading: Job 12-18
Yesterday, I ended my reflection without an answer.
I wrote from inside an unanswered prayer.
I’ve been praying for discernment. Asking the Holy Spirit to lead me. Asking God to confirm His direction rather than allowing me to convince myself that whatever I want must also be what God wants.
And today?
I still don’t have some giant answer about where everything is going.
But something happened that made me wonder if maybe I’ve been expecting discernment to look different than it actually does.
Maybe discernment isn’t always receiving the entire answer.
Maybe sometimes God gives us enough clarity for the next right thing.
It Started With a Phone Call
My phone rang first thing this morning.
And almost immediately, something inside of me said:
It’s okay. You don’t need to answer.
That’s important for me.
Because my natural instinct is usually to answer.
Help.
Fix.
Take care of it.
Especially when someone needs something from me.
But this morning, I paused.
I didn’t answer.
Within about twenty minutes, I learned enough about what was happening to realize that answering that call would likely have meant taking on even more work and stress when my plate was already overflowing.
So I noticed.
I didn’t assign some enormous spiritual meaning to it.
I didn’t decide:
The Holy Spirit told me not to answer my phone!
I simply thought:
Interesting.
And I continued through my day.
Then My Devotional Said This
My devotional this morning began by talking about negative thinking.
About how easy it is to focus on everything going wrong when your job feels uncertain, finances are struggling, relationships are difficult, or circumstances around you feel completely outside of your control.
But then came the reminder:
God sees the bigger picture.
There it was again.
Yesterday, I wrote about Job and how badly I wanted to tell him:
Job! You don’t know the whole story!
I could see pages Job couldn’t see.
And today, I was being reminded:
There are pages of my own story I can’t see either.
I don’t know what conversations are happening when I’m not there.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings.
I don’t know where every opportunity leads.
I don’t know which things I currently think are incredibly important will eventually matter at all.
God sees from a perspective I don’t have.
And if I truly believe that, then maybe surrender isn’t only about putting down the things I’ve already picked up.
Maybe surrender also means learning:
I don’t have to pick up every new weight someone hands me.
And Then I Eventually Returned the Call
At the end of the day, I called back.
And very early in the conversation, I was asked to do something I wasn’t comfortable doing.
So I spoke up.
I explained that I wasn’t comfortable.
And initially, I didn’t feel heard.
That feeling matters – but not because every uncomfortable feeling automatically means God is telling us something.
It doesn’t.
Sometimes doing the right thing is uncomfortable.
Sometimes fear appears precisely because we’re doing something difficult.
I’ve been learning that discernment cannot simply become:
This feels good, so it must be God.
Or:
This makes me anxious, so God must be telling me no.
That’s too easy.
So again…
I noticed.
Then Came the Thought Again
After the conversation, I felt a very strong pull to tell someone I trusted.
And this wasn’t the first time recently that I’d experienced that.
My immediate thought was essentially:
Say something.
So I did.
I shared what had happened with someone who could look at the situation from outside of it.
And the response mattered.
I was told that bringing it forward was appropriate.
I was reassured that I didn’t need to worry and that I could let someone else take it from there.
And I felt something.
Not happiness.
Not:
Great! Everything is fixed!
Not even complete understanding.
Relief.
Because I had done what was mine to do.
Maybe This Is What Discernment Looks Like
I’ve been asking:
How do I know whether something I’m hearing is God, my own thoughts, fear, intuition, or simply what I want?
And I’m beginning to think maybe I was expecting discernment to be much louder than it actually is.
Maybe sometimes it looks like this:
Pause.
Notice.
Compare what you’re feeling with what you’ve learned in God’s Word.
Check your heart.
Ask whether you’re responding from fear, ego, control, love, honesty, or service.
Pray.
Seek wise counsel.
Take the next right step.
And then…
watch what it produces.
Not because every positive outcome proves we heard God correctly.
And not because every difficult outcome means we didn’t.
But because discernment is something we practice.
We test.
We learn.
We become more familiar with God’s character.
We become more familiar with our own patterns.
And perhaps, over time, we begin recognizing the difference.
God’s Word Gives Us Something to Test Against
This part has become increasingly important to me.
If I simply follow every thought that pops into my head and call it God, that’s not discernment.
That’s dangerous.
I need something outside of myself to test it against.
That’s one reason reading Scripture has become so important throughout this journey.
Does what I’m considering align with what I’m learning about God’s character?
Does it move me toward honesty?
Love?
Patience?
Humility?
Kindness?
Truth?
Does it ask me to surrender control – or feed my desire to control?
Does it require me to hurt someone else to protect myself?
Does it ask me to judge someone’s heart when I couldn’t possibly know it?
Those questions don’t always immediately produce an answer.
But they give me somewhere to begin.
And lately, I’ve been asking them more often.
Not Every Confident Voice Is the Right Voice
Then today’s reading – Job 12-18 – added another layer.
Job is surrounded by people who have plenty to say about what is happening to him.
They have explanations.
They have opinions.
And they sound pretty confident about them.
But as readers, we know something important:
They don’t have the whole picture either.
That made me think about discernment differently.
Maybe discernment isn’t only learning how to test the voice inside of us.
Maybe it’s also learning to test the voices around us.
Someone can feel strongly about something and still be wrong.
Someone can believe they understand our situation and still only see one small piece of it.
Someone else’s fear, frustration, expectations, or certainty doesn’t automatically have to become ours.
And that doesn’t mean we stop listening to people.
Actually, I think wise counsel is incredibly important.
Today, I needed another perspective.
But there is a difference between seeking wisdom and simply handing someone else authority over something that doesn’t sit right in our heart.
Listen.
Pray.
Compare what you’re hearing with God’s Word.
Ask questions.
Seek wise counsel.
And remember:
No human being standing beside you can see the entire story either.
That perspective belongs to God.
I Can Recognize Behavior Without Deciding Someone’s Heart
This was another important lesson today.
There were behaviors happening around me that I didn’t agree with.
And as I received more information, I could understand more of what was happening.
But I still don’t know everyone’s intentions.
Yesterday, I wrote:
Their intentions aren’t mine to carry.
Today, I still believe that.
I can say:
I don’t believe this is right.
I can set a boundary.
I can speak honestly.
I can bring something forward when I believe it needs attention.
But I don’t have to turn another person into a villain to justify my own decision.
I don’t have to decide what’s inside their heart.
That’s God’s territory.
My responsibility is my own heart.
My own actions.
My own honesty.
My own next right thing.
And when I’ve done that?
I can release the rest.
And here’s the fascinating part.
I’m writing all of this while the bigger prayer remains unanswered.
I still don’t know exactly where this season is leading.
I still don’t know what the full picture looks like.
And I still don’t know whether the things I’m noticing now will mean what I think they mean when I eventually look backward.
That’s important to say.
Because I don’t want this journey to become a collection of stories where I already know the ending and then work backward to make every moment fit perfectly.
I don’t know the ending.
Yesterday, I prayed for God to confirm His direction.
Today, I noticed.
I paused.
I listened.
I spoke when something didn’t sit right.
I asked for another perspective.
And when I had done what was mine to do, someone else essentially said:
We’ll take it from here.
Maybe that’s all the confirmation I needed for today.
Not confirmation of the entire destination.
Confirmation of the next step.
And perhaps that’s how discernment grows.
One faithful step at a time.
Surrender Is Starting to Look Different
I’ve written Lord, Take Control many times throughout this journey.
Those words have been part of my life for years.
But I keep realizing that surrender has layers.
At first, surrender meant:
God, I can’t control the outcome.
Then:
God, I don’t know what the answer is supposed to look like.
Then:
God, I don’t need tomorrow’s pages today.
And now maybe:
God, help me recognize what isn’t mine before I pick it up.
That feels different.
Because I am someone who will carry things.
People’s problems.
Their feelings.
Their disappointment.
Work.
Family.
Conflict.
Responsibility.
Things that aren’t even technically mine somehow end up in my mental backpack. 😂
And then eventually I’m exhausted and wondering why everything feels so heavy.
Maybe part of spiritual growth is learning that helping people and carrying everything for them are not the same thing.
Maybe saying no can sometimes be faithful too.
Maybe speaking up can be faithful.
Maybe asking for help can be faithful.
Maybe handing something to the person who is actually responsible for it can be faithful.
And maybe surrender sometimes happens before we become completely overwhelmed.
What Are You Carrying?
And this is where I want to turn this outward.
Because maybe you’re carrying something right now too.
Maybe you’re the person everyone calls.
Maybe you’re trying to keep your family together.
Maybe something at work feels like it will collapse if you stop holding it.
Maybe you’re managing someone else’s emotions.
Maybe you’re trying to rescue a relationship.
Maybe you’re waiting for an answer.
Maybe you’re so used to being responsible that you don’t even realize how much you’ve picked up.
I am learning to ask myself:
Is this actually mine?
Not:
Do I care?
Of course I care.
Not:
Could I help?
I probably could.
The question is:
Is God actually asking me to carry this?
Those are very different questions.
And maybe before automatically saying yes, fixing the problem, answering the call, or picking up another weight…
we can pause.
Because maybe the pause isn’t selfish.
Maybe the boundary isn’t unkind.
Maybe saying I can’t carry this doesn’t mean we don’t care.
Maybe sometimes putting something down is exactly what allows us to faithfully carry what is ours.
Today’s Takeaway
I’m Still Waiting
And here’s the fascinating part.
I’m writing all of this while the bigger prayer remains unanswered.
I still don’t know exactly where this season is leading.
I still don’t know what the full picture looks like.
And I still don’t know whether the things I’m noticing now will mean what I think they mean when I eventually look backward.
That’s important to say.
Because I don’t want this journey to become a collection of stories where I already know the ending and then work backward to make every moment fit perfectly.
I don’t know the ending.
Yesterday, I prayed for God to confirm His direction.
Today, I noticed.
I paused.
I listened.
I spoke when something didn’t sit right.
I asked for another perspective.
And when I had done what was mine to do, someone else essentially said:
We’ll take it from here.
Maybe that’s all the confirmation I needed for today.
Not confirmation of the entire destination.
Confirmation of the next step.
And perhaps that’s how discernment grows.
One faithful step at a time.
Questions I’m Leaving With
Am I asking God to reveal the entire direction when He’s already given me enough for the next right step?
When something inside of me says pause, can I pause before fear or responsibility takes over?
Am I testing what I feel against God’s Word – or simply calling my own desires God’s direction?
Am I giving someone else’s confidence more authority than I should simply because they sound certain?
Can I seek wise counsel without handing someone else responsibility for my discernment?
Can I recognize behavior that isn’t right without deciding what is inside another person’s heart?
What am I currently carrying simply because someone handed it to me?
And what might change if, before picking it up, I asked:
Is this actually mine?
Todays Takeaway
Discernment may not always arrive as one unmistakable answer.
Sometimes it may be quieter.
Pause.
Notice.
Pray.
Test.
Listen.
Seek wisdom.
Take the next right step.
And release what happens after that.
We don’t have to know the entire road to walk faithfully today.
We don’t have to accept every confident voice as truth.
We don’t have to understand someone’s intentions to know when something doesn’t align with our own heart and values.
We don’t have to carry every problem simply because we’re capable of helping.
And we don’t have to manufacture certainty when God has only given us enough for the next step.
Maybe that’s enough.
Yesterday:
I don’t need those pages yet.
Today:
I only need enough light for the page I’m on.
And tonight, I still don’t know what happens next.
But I know what was mine today.
I paused.
I listened.
I spoke.
I asked for help.
And then I put it down.
Lord, Take Control.
Until next time… keep noticing.