Today’s Reading: Job 32-34
Last night, while rereading what I had written, I had one of those thoughts that made me stop.
Not because it was complicated.
Actually, because it was incredibly simple.
I had been writing about the importance of knowing God’s Word for ourselves. About discernment. About how another person can quote Scripture confidently, but we still have a responsibility to read, pray, question, and seek understanding ourselves.
And suddenly I thought:
That’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
Not just learning what the Bible says.
Getting to know God’s heart.
And when that thought came together, I felt it.
I Didn’t Start This Journey With All the Answers
If you’ve been reading from the beginning, you know I didn’t start this because I suddenly became an expert on Christianity.
Quite the opposite.
I had questions.
I still have questions.
I’ve always believed in God, but organized religion has sometimes been harder for me to understand.
And I want to be careful with that sentence.
I’m not saying organized religion is bad.
I’m not saying churches are bad.
I’m not saying pastors, teachers, devotionals, or other Christians don’t have an important place in our faith.
They absolutely can.
I’ve learned from all of those things.
But I’m realizing something that has changed my life:
No one else’s relationship with God can replace my own.
I can listen to someone preach about Him.
I can read someone’s interpretation of Scripture.
I can listen to a devotional.
I can ask questions.
I can learn from people who understand the Bible far better than I do.
But at some point, if I genuinely want to know God…
I have to spend time getting to know Him myself.
Because Some of This Has Scared Me
I want to be completely honest about something.
There have been things I’ve read in the Bible that have made me uncomfortable.
There have been moments – especially while reading parts of the Old Testament – when I’ve thought:
Whoa.
There is judgment.
There are consequences.
There are things God does or allows that I don’t completely understand.
And then there is the phrase:
Fear God.
If I’m being completely honest, there have been times when I have read things like that and felt actual fear.
Not necessarily God is bad.
More:
God is incredibly powerful, and I don’t completely understand Him.
And maybe earlier in my life, that discomfort would have been enough for me to pull away.
But this time I kept reading.
I kept asking questions.
I kept going.
And something unexpected happened.
You Start Recognizing the Heart
Think about someone you know deeply.
Over time, you begin to recognize their heart.
Not because they tell you who they are once.
You recognize it because you’ve watched them.
You see patterns.
You see what they do when someone is hurting.
You see what matters to them.
You see how they respond when things are difficult.
You see what they forgive.
You see what they protect.
You see who they move toward.
And last night I realized:
That’s what has been happening while I’ve been reading the Bible.
I’m seeing patterns.
God keeps showing up.
He keeps working through imperfect people.
He keeps giving people another opportunity.
He keeps asking people to trust Him when they cannot see the entire story.
And then I read about Jesus.
Look at who Jesus moved toward.
People who were hurting.
People who were sick.
People who had made mistakes.
People society had judged.
People other people had decided weren’t worthy.
Look at what He taught.
Love.
Forgiveness.
Humility.
Service.
Mercy.
Truth.
Look at how often He cared about the heart instead of the performance happening on the outside.
And suddenly the thought became so simple:
I’m starting to recognize God’s heart.
And what I keep finding underneath it is love.
Don’t Take My Word for It
But here’s the part that matters.
I don’t want you to believe that because I told you.
Seriously.
Don’t take my word for it.
That would completely miss the point.
If you aren’t sure what you believe about God…
If religion has made you uncomfortable…
If someone has used Christianity in a way that hurt you…
If you’ve heard things about God that made you think, I don’t know if I want anything to do with that…
If you’re simply curious…
Go meet Him for yourself.
Read.
Ask questions.
Get confused.
Look things up.
Talk to people.
Pray – even if you’re not completely sure how you feel about prayer yet.
And don’t skip the uncomfortable parts.
I don’t.
There are still things I’m reading that I don’t understand.
Maybe that’s okay.
Because getting to know someone doesn’t mean understanding everything about them immediately.
Relationship takes time.
Job’s Friends Were Talking About God Too
And then I thought about today’s reading.
Job 32-34.
Elihu enters the conversation after listening to Job and his friends debate everything that has happened.
And this entire stretch of Job has been fascinating to read through this lens.
Everyone is talking about God.
Everyone has an opinion.
Everyone is trying to explain what God is doing.
Everyone believes they understand at least part of the situation.
And yet none of them can see the entire story.
We can.
As readers, we were given information at the beginning of Job that the people living inside the story don’t have.
That has stayed with me throughout these chapters.
Because people can speak about God with enormous confidence.
Sometimes they may be right.
Sometimes they may have wisdom we desperately need.
Sometimes they may only understand part of the story.
That’s why I don’t want someone else to be my only source for who God is.
I want to listen.
I want to learn.
I want wise counsel.
But then I want to keep coming back here.
God, help me understand Your heart.
Maybe Presence Is Part of It Too
There was another connection that hit me last night.
I’ve been practicing staying in the moment.
It sounds simple.
It isn’t always. š
But I’m realizing that when I am actually present, I notice more.
At my son’s hockey game, I could have physically been sitting there while mentally living somewhere else.
Thinking about work.
Thinking about tomorrow.
Thinking about whatever problem my brain decided needed solving.
Instead, I was there.
And because I was there, I noticed his confidence.
I noticed his happiness.
I noticed the atmosphere.
I recognized the gift while I was standing inside it.
Thank You, God.
And I wonder if I’ve been doing something similar with Scripture.
If I open the Bible only asking:
God, what am I supposed to do?
Tell me what’s going to happen.
Give me an answer.
Show me which direction to go.
I might find something helpful.
But I might also miss something bigger.
Instead of only asking God to show me what to do, I’ve started paying attention to what Scripture is showing me about who He is.
Maybe that’s another kind of presence.
āThe Page Is Turningā
And then came today’s devotional.
I almost laughed.
After everything I’ve been writing about not needing to see the next page, today’s message talked about standing on the edge of something new.
A transition.
Something significant.
Something coming soon.
And eventually:
The page is turning.
Of course my heart reacted…
Because I have been feeling that.
I can’t explain it.
I still don’t know what it means.
But I feel hopeful.
I feel anticipation.
I feel like something is changing.
And I’ve learned enough over these past few weeks to know what comes next.
Notice.
Not:
THIS IS IT! GOD JUST TOLD ME EXACTLY WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
No.
I can let those words encourage me without turning them into a prediction.
I can feel hope without deciding what the outcome must be.
I can pray about it.
I can test it.
I can keep going.
And maybe the most important part of the devotional wasn’t even the promise of something new.
Maybe it was the reminder:
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Because if that’s true, I don’t need to know what’s written on the next page yet.
Maybe I Don’t Need to Know the Next Page if I Know His Heart
That sentence feels different now.
For weeks, I’ve been practicing:
Lord, Take Control.
I’ve been trying to surrender outcomes.
I’ve been learning to notice without immediately deciding what everything means.
I’ve been asking for discernment.
I’ve been learning what isn’t mine to carry.
I’ve been practicing taking the next right step instead of demanding the entire map.
But maybe underneath all of those lessons, something even more important has been happening.
I’m learning who I’m surrendering to.
Because surrender sounds terrifying if you don’t trust the person you’re surrendering to.
Not knowing tomorrow feels terrifying if you believe you’re walking toward it alone.
Leaving the next page unread feels impossible if you don’t trust the One holding the story.
Maybe that’s why knowing God’s heart matters so much.
I don’t know exactly what happens next.
But I’m beginning to know Him better.
And somehow, that is making the unknown feel different.
Questions I’m Leaving With
Do I know God for myself – or mostly know what other people have told me about Him?
When Scripture makes me uncomfortable, do I pull away, or am I willing to keep reading and asking questions?
Am I reading the Bible only looking for answers – or am I paying attention to what it reveals about God’s character?
What patterns do I notice when I look at the whole story?
What does Jesus show me about God’s heart?
And what might change about the way I face uncertainty if I trust the heart of the One I’m surrendering it to?
Today’s Takeaway
Maybe you don’t know what you believe.
Maybe you believe in God but haven’t opened a Bible in years.
Maybe religion complicated your relationship with Him.
Maybe you’ve only ever known the version of God someone else introduced you to.
Or maybe you’ve been reading Scripture your entire life.
Wherever you are, I don’t want this blog to become another voice simply telling you who God is.
I hope it does something else.
I hope it makes you curious enough to go looking for yourself.
Read His Word.
Ask your questions.
Bring your doubts.
Notice what confuses you.
Notice what challenges you.
But also notice the patterns.
Notice who God keeps moving toward.
Notice what Jesus teaches.
Notice what He does.
Notice His heart.
And don’t take my word for what you’ll find.
Go meet Him for yourself.
As for me?
I still don’t know what’s written on my next page.
I still feel like it’s turning.
I still feel something in my heart when I think about what may be ahead.
But tonight, I don’t need to know exactly what it says.
Because maybe faith isn’t only learning to trust God’s plan.
Maybe it’s getting to know God’s heart well enough that you can trust Him before you know the plan.
And the more I read…
the more I recognize Him.
The more I recognize Him…
the more I see love.
And that is changing everything.
Lord, Take Control.
Until next time… keep noticing.